The Great Alarm Fiasco of 2026
It was our last morning in Dublin and we were getting ready to leave.
I was in Ireland with Marko, my best friend since childhood. We were staying at his cousin’s home in Dublin, a very charming two-floor brick townhome in a very quaint Irish neighborhood.
We were nearly out the door, but we had a problem: Marko dead-bolted the lock the night before in such a way that we couldn’t unlock it.
He asked if I could try. It was about 9am, Marko was utterly hungover, he’d been drinking the night before. Next to the door was a big red button. Now, I swear to you, my first instinct was to not press the button - usually when a button is red, you avoid it; but then my logic kicked in, and I thought of European doors where there’s often a red button that releases the lock. So I pressed it. And by God I wished I hadn’t.
The loudest, most soul-piercing alarm set off. Blaring, everywhere. Typing it now makes me dizzy. I felt it in my bones. The entire home was going off, the sound so loud it was emanating in our skulls. Marko had both hands clasped over his ears, his eyes baggy, shirtless, screaming for me to turn it off. I’m somehow calm (also, I had nothing at stake — for him, it’s his cousin’s home).
The sound continues. I’m taking pictures and sending them to ChatGPT. Marko’s losing his mind.
“Go outside and call your cousin!” I yell.
“It’s fucking playing outside too!”
He called his cousin and put her on video. His hand was shaking so bad, she couldn’t even see the pin pad. He gave me the phone. She had just woken up, and was having trouble remembering the code. It felt like forever. Finally she did and I punched it in. The alarm ceased.
Marko couldn’t even talk. Actually, he was doubled over, huffing and panting. I think he was about to have a heart attack.
The funny thing was, this alarm blared for over ten minutes, and at no point did any police or fire truck arrive.
Instead, a woman in her bathrobe was standing outside our balcony, she must have been over 60. I told her I set off the alarm, everything’s ok, I’m so sorry.
“Oh ok,” she said in a charming accent. “I’m the neighborhood watch, so I came to make sure everything was ok.” She tightened her bathrobe, then turned to walk home.